Random Stuff

Have you noticed that everything is organic these days? I remember when fruit and vegetables used to just be fruit and vegetables. Now they’re either conventionally grown or organically grown. Why is this? In this blog I plan to do an in-depth exposé on what happened over the past decade and find out how agriculture has ended up in its current state. Just kidding! I don’t know that much about stuff to give an informed report. I’m no journalist, I’m just dude-alist. A dude who knows what he likes, however. And I like organic fruits and veggies.

I think the main problem in current agricultural practices is that like most large operations, they are based only on monetary output. Instead of millions of small farmers that serve their communities, there are now several gigantic farm-corporations that grow huge crops of things that will yield the highest dollar amount rather than the best meals. That is because corporations that make “food” rely on cheap sweeteners and fillers, such as corn, corn syrup, soy, and wheat to make the bulk of their nutritionally deficient snacks and treats. They pay the highest amount for those cash crops and therefore that is what the farmers focus on. The remaining farmers that don’t focus on those cash crops are forced to maximize their output, which they achieve by spraying pesticides on their crops to kill bugs and pests. Pesticides help the farmers pocketbooks, but there is endless scientific evidence of how harmful foods sprayed with pesticides can be for humans who consume them. A vicious cycle indeed. It reminds me of the L.A. County backflow testing wars of the early 1950′s, but I’ll get into that some other time.

The best alternative to all of this madness is to support farmers that use organic farming methods, free of pesticides and harmful chemicals used to maximize output. If we only care about the cheapest price possible, then we will surely hurt the organic farmers and our own health in the long run. Let us march forward for our health and progress. Eat organic.

Our economy has suffered for the last five years and most Americans have been hit hard. We often hear pundits and pandits theorizing about the economic recovery but it mostly sounds like vapid mumbo jumbo. I say the best way to judge the economic recovery is to look around and see if there’s any construction happening. And I have definitely noticed in the last couple years that construction has picked up. I have seen all kinds of construction happening: restaurants, apartment buildings, drinking establishments, alcohol rehabilitation centers, cemeteries, and theme parks….and all this in just one square mile of city. I don’t think it’s just my part of town either. I have friends in far-flung regions who are telling the same stories and I think this is a surefire sign that the times they are a-changin’.

Speaking of Bob Dylan, that great balladeer who once said, “A building goes up, a pocketbook gets filled, a bird gets killed”….or was it Johan Lehrer who said that, I forget. Anyway, that quote makes no sense and that is the point of my story. Life doesn’t need to make a point, all it needs to do is build build build. I’m sure the next question out of your mouth is going to be, “If we keep building won’t we eventually run out of space? Won’t some animals be pushed to extinction?” My answer to that is yes. The only way we humans can ensure our domination of the world, and therefore, of all non-human animals is to engage in a way of thinking known as “speciesism,” whereby we assume that we humans are superior to all other beings and therefore it is our right to destroy the earth and continue our expansion and destruction as long as it leads to our own happiness. Of course, there are endless logical holes in this way of thinking, but it’s the only way that we can go on living in this world. Therefore, it is once again made clear that Americans, and by extension, humans all over the world, must ensure our economic recovery and future happiness by engaging in ceaseless building and construction. Thanks for your support. Long live humans.

In Los Angeles, there are a new brand of hippies that I like to call “Mystical Underground Dwellers” or MUDs for short. These MUDs are having a strong impact on the moral fabric of my favorite city. For example, they like to collect minerals, or sparkly rocks, and bask in their “energy.” They also like to speak at length about their “spirit animals” which can range from the realistic mongoose to the ever elusive unicorn. MUDs like to embrace the spiritual side of the natural world and run wild with it, often making a mockery of science and the scientific method. Here I will lay out a three-tiered plan that will not only eradicate the MUDs, but also leave no trace of their existence.

Step one, we’ve got to build a giant vegan restaurant cruise ship the size of the Titanic, and once all the MUDs are on it we set it free across the open ocean….who knows…maybe the ship will find a friendly ICEBERG. Is that murder? Yes, it is.

Step two, we need congress to pass legislation that says “NO MORE SPARKLY MINERAL ROCKS WILL BE SOLD OVER THE INTERNET.” All mineral sales will occur in sports bars, which no MUD will ever set foot in.

Step three, make long hair illegal.

Let me set the record straight. I like alternative lifestyles. I champion vegetarianism and compassion to animals, I like all forms of music (even avant-garde jazz), and I have long been a supporter of fertility acupuncture in Los Angeles. That being said, I just can’t sit back and let my city go the way of the Netherlands. In case you don’t know, the Netherlands used to be a great hub of science and art. Amsterdam in particular had the highest number of high school math clubs. That is, until marijuana took over. Now the people of Amsterdam ride bikes around all day in a haze of drugs, spirit animals, and crystal deodorants. I don’t want to see Los Angeles end up that way. Let’s make L.A. a better place for tomorrow, today.

Nowadays we need insurance for everything. Car insurance, health insurance, renter’s insurance, homeowner’s insurance, butt insurance (J. Lo), hair insurance (Oprah), etc. It’s enough to drive a mad person madder, and possibly even lead them to a career of Mad Hatter-ing. Ok, that’s highly unlikely because hats are made by machines now, I think.

Anyway, insurance appears to be a very lucrative business that preys on the fears and risks of nice people. It’s basically the business equivalent of a shark. You give them your lunch money and they won’t hurt you. Well, I’m here to say that I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore! I’m not actually that mad, but let’s pretend. You see, the way insurance works is that you pay money for piece of mind. For example, renter’s insurance will cover your possessions in the event of a distaster such as a fire or tornado. Depending on where you live, the likelihood of a fire can be slim to none. However, in the event of a fire if all your belongings melt away you’ll be reimbursed for their value. Without the insurance you’d be left with a bunch of melted memories and no money. Conversely, without the insurance and without the fire you’d save hundreds of dollars a month! Unfortunately, it’s a well documented fact that we humans (maybe all living organisms?) treat losses more importantly than gains. For example, losing $1000 is painful and winning $1000 is joyful, but we want to avoid the painful loss more than we want to feel the joy of gain. And this is the basic mechanism by which we give our money away for protection against things that may or may not exist.

Quite often it’s the case that an insurance company will change the terms of your coverage without telling you. Why? Because they’re no-good shysters! And if that ever happens to you, you should get on the phone and call an insurance bad faith lawyer. They can help you stick it to that insurance man and make an example of him, so his corrupt friends don’t try the same dirty tricks.

I’m tired. I was in a friend’s wedding yesterday and the party went late into the night and unfortunately I had to wake up early. So if there’s anything strange about this post please don’t hold it against me…just chalk it up to lack of sleep.

What I’m here to talk to you about today is driving. More specifically: driving in Los Angeles, the car capitol of the world. Driving isn’t rocket science, but for some reason people are really bad at it. For example, in L.A. there are many left turn lights, much like other American cities. However, in L.A. there are so many cars that you usually aren’t able to turn left until the light turns red and the oncoming traffic stops. If there’s a long line of cars waiting to turn left then it only makes sense that 2 or 3 cars must turn in order for progress to be made. Most people know this unspoken mathematical driving rule, but sometimes the 2nd car doesn’t act fast enough and/or is too afraid to turn on red. This is not good for humanity. These people are ruining the quality of life in Los Angeles! And the rest of us need to let it be known! Standing back while stagnation and spinelessness proliferate is a recipe for communism….and that’s a very bad tasting recipe.

This is why I’m proposing a new rule to the California driving boards called “Park It or Snark It.” The new rule says that if you can’t pass a reflex test you lose your right to turn left. Instead of making a left turn you’ll be required to make three right turns. This would be enforced by a car monitoring technology. The cost to taxpayers will be high, but the returns (state happiness quotient) will be exponentially higher. People of Los Angeles: there are privileges, and then there are the common rights that we’re all entitled to, such as a happy driving experience, tasty burritos, and reliable backflow testing in L.A. county. We will all benefit greatly from this legislation and it will take your support to get it passed. How much work are you willing to put in to improve your quality of life? Speak now, or forever hold your left…….turn.

Do you find yourself stressed out by all that Los Angeles traffic? How about the sorry state of your city’s basketball team? Where’s the Kobe beef? All these things add up and can add high amounts of stress to your already busy life. This is what’s grinding modern men and women into the espresso of doom, to be bought and sold by our nation’s elite “baristas.” Well I’m here to tell you that it doesn’t have to end this way. You can take control of your life or your smartphone’s life app and change directions. I’m talking about therapy, but not the kind where you sit on a long couch, divulging your life story to a mustachioed Austrian intellectual. I’m talking about the alternative therapy of acupuncture, which has been shown to greatly reduce stress, among many other benefits. Stress can impact our physiology in many ways. It can manifest itself in tense muscles, which can lead to aches or chronic pain, and it can even become more severe, leading to hair loss and infertility. Acupuncture takes great strides in eliminating these problems for many people. In Los Angeles, acupuncture and fertility go hand in hand. When we think of super star actors and actresses suddenly appearing to have a small army of young children, we usually chalk it up to current adoption trends and fashions. But more often than not, what’s propelling this proliferation of pint sized people is a network of stress relief that was once only available to the Hollywood elite. Acupuncture is now available to everyone and at reasonable prices. It only makes sense that we Californians enjoy the wonderful and enriching bounty of alternative therapies that our royal families have enjoyed for many years. It’s time that we take advantage of all the stress relieving resources that are available to us and change our lives for the better. We all know Kobe isn’t doing it for us.

cc licensed ( BY SA ) flickr photo by Michael Fleshman: http://flickr.com/photos/fleshmanpix/6815449144/

These days it’s harder to be “proud to be American” than it once was. Sure, there are hundreds, thousands, and maybe even millions of reasons to be happy to be an American. But not billions. Billions belong to the billionaires, which coincidentally, is what makes it so hard to be proud of the stars and stripes. Do you catch my drift? Well, allow me to phrase it this way: the economy stinks. The middle class is definitely not what it used to be. There are many reasons for this. Too many to fit in a blog post, that’s for sure. But just to skim the surface, corporate greed and the government’s willingness to enable it is what forms the base of the economic pyramid of sadness. The best things to do are to find ways to live amid the chaos in hopes of eventually pulling ourselves out of it. For most, that means tightening the budget. For others, the budget is already long gone. One thing that should be avoided at all costs is self pity. We as individuals are not to blame for the current economic situation. The lead-up to this mass unemployment was largely out of our control. And unfortunately, a common side effect of unemployment is self loathing, which can lead to isolation from friends, which can soon spiral into a vicious cycle of self-fulfilling prophecy. How can one find any hope when one has isolated him or herself from the very people that can provide it? This must be avoided at all costs. Affordable housing, food, and medical services have always been Americans’ top priorities. Unfortunately, many often find themselves looking for affordable addiction treatment.  This too should be avoided at all costs, but the reality is that many of us don’t have the mental fortitude to weather such extreme losses. And following close on the heels of sadness is escape from the pain via controlled substances. If it gets to that point, you must try to think about all the downtrodden Americans that came before you and find it in yourself to do what they all most certainly did. Soldier on with your best foot forward in hopes to rediscover the pride in your country.

Get your backflow tested by a certified backflow tester.

First off, do we have a thorough understanding of backflow? That’s okay, it isn’t like we have to take backflow 101 in college and it certainly does not come up in everyday conversation, but knowing what backflow is and knowing why you should prevent it from occurring is important. So the definition of backflow can vary, but generally speaking backflow is the reversal of liquid (sometimes gas or solids) that occurs when high pressure meets low pressure, commonly described as what happens when you sip liquid through a straw. This backpressure can take what you are trying to get out your house (toilet water, dirty dish water, pool water, etc.) and bring it back into your house. This reversal of contaminated water into your potable water is kind of a big deal and you really do not want this to occur.

Having a backflow prevention device, yes a device that’s prime focus is to prevent this from happening, will save you, your family, your customers, your tenants and yourself from the health hazards and all around disgusting experience of this occurring. However, just having a backflow prevention device does not get you off the hook that easy because this special device has to be tested to make sure it is working properly. This backflow prevention device is actually legally required to be checked on a yearly basis.

Backflow is a serious issue and contaminated water can have the potential to affect many people if not dealt with correctly. Now you may think kicking the thing a few times is enough to be considered checked and ready to go, but it actually needs to be checked by a certified backflow tester in Los Angeles or whatever area you live in or own a commercial building in. Maintain your backflow prevention device and you are good to go.

Need a construction site attorney?

If you are a construction worker, or someone in your family is a construction worker you know how dangerous going to work every day can be. Whether you are constructing a small home or a huge skyscraper there are many ways for accidents to occur. Working with heavy machinery, hazardous chemicals and being on unstable scaffolds and building frames make working in construction one of the most dangerous jobs out there. Even construction workers who do not suffer serious injuries or accidents for years will definitely feel the long term effects of working their bodies so hard and for such long hours. Basically, being a construction worker has its price to pay and many construction workers pay that price and take the risk everyday for their paycheck.

So what happens if an accident does occur?  Construction injuries can include falls, explosions, burns, broken bones, strains.  cuts, concussions and even death. If you believe your injury or family members death on the construction site is due to equipment malfunction or some other type of negligence you have the right to file a lawsuit. Medical bills can cost a fortune and some injuries may not allow you to work for an extended period of time and this can create quite the financial crisis for you and your family.

If you believe you are not responsible for your construction site accident you should hire an attorney at Martin Stanley so you can get your medical bills and other forms of compensation that you and your family deserve. Construction law may seem really complicated but hiring an attorney with the knowledge and experience of may construction accident cases will make sure you and your family aren’t left with an injured family member and a lot of debt. Join our circle!

It may be a bit dramatic to say that playgrounds have been revolutionized but we can definitely say that playgrounds are not what they used to be, and it may not be such a bad thing. We like to reminisce how great our childhood was and how we actually had real life friends and real life adventures, not that virtual experience that kids have these days. When we ran we weren’t in our living rooms running in place with a controller in our hand and when we fell we didn’t just lose points. When we played we got hurt and we still have the scars to prove it. This one on my elbow right here, this is from falling off the top of the monkey bars and this one is from jumping off the swing. Do kids even get scars these days?

Well the answer is no, but not because when they play they play in front of a screen, but because playgrounds are a lot safer than they used to be. Instead of a playground made of dirty sand and metal bars it’s practically a rubber playground. Basically instead of having sand, wood chips or any other type of playground surfacing, more and more playgrounds are using rubber chips. These rubber looking wood chips are being used at preschools, public parks and private backyards.

Rubber Bark is the safest kind of playground surfacing that is actually shock absorbent. Not only is it made from recycled tire scraps and is non-toxic, it actually lasts longer than other materials that are usually used for playgrounds. This rubber mulch is fade resistant and does not absorb water or harbor insects of any sort. Rubber Bark playground material requires very low maintenance and looks amazing. You may miss the good old days of scraped knees but these new playgrounds really will impress you.

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